Finding Drapple
by ElsaElphieGinny
Summary: Years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Rose is at Scorpius' house... when Astoria comes in with a bag containing a mouldy apple and a rather amusing poem written by a 13 year old Draco to an apple. Hilarity ensues. Kinda a joke fic? Ships are Drastoria and Drapple :)


**Thursday 1st September 2016**

 **AN: Yo I'm probably gonna delete this as it's bad and I wrote it ages ago, but I just want y'all to know I'm still alive and I'm in the middle of writing another fanfic! SO without further ado, the... rather interesting... ideas of Drapple by an 11 year old.**

"Draco! What's _this_?" Astoria chucked the crumpled, ripped sheet at his head. Draco glared up at her, furious that the conversation he was having with Rose and Scorpius had been interrupted.

"What's _what_? Can it wait?" He turned back to the teens. "You know, when I was your age, I-"

"Draco! I'll read it for you then!"

"Astoria, calm down! What is it- probably some old version of a will..."

"Did you leave anything to a certain apple?" Astoria produced a plastic bag with a mouldy decaying apple- well, an apple core with a few bits of flesh. Rose and Scorpius exchanged looks of mixed revulsion and excitement. They had come across the poem and given it to Astoria.

"Astoria dear, what are _you_ doing with a mouldy apple? What happened to the rest of it?" Draco frowned at Astoria, causing her to raise an eyebrow. She crossed the room and retrieved the paper.

"You know- I've read the whole thing. It does seem like quite a lovely… what's the wording? 'Dearest, darlingest apple'?"

As Scorpius stifled a snort, it seemed to dawn on Draco, who turned slowly towards the children.

"Scorpius, Rose. Out." Neither dared disagree with him in his current state. Once they'd gone, he turned to Astoria.

"For goodness... it was a dare, alright? Did you actually read it?"

In answer, Astoria started reading aloud.

 _To my dearest, darlingest apple (soon to be Mrs Malfoy!)_

 _So sweet yet so sour,_

 _I miss you hour by hour,_

 _Apple, tis true- I cannot be myself_

 _When others are round, my cute little elf,_

 _Luckily, my friends aren't homophobic._

 _That's good for us- but they may puke or be sick,_

 _For they may be applephobic,_

 _If they insult you, I'll give them a kick_

 _But discreetly, so none knows of my trick,_

 _If I tell people my feelings for you,_

 _Ev'n people I don't know'll insult me, out of the blue,_

 _That's why, dear appley, I must keep you to me,_

 _Must tell none of our reltionship, let none see,_

 _But to part with you- I cannot bear,_

 _I'm obsessed with you as is father with hair,_

 _I'll take you to lessons and pretend to eat thee,_

 _But won't, could never- your faithfully,_

 _Yours, your Dracey,_

As Astoria finished (successfully avoiding Draco's attempts to grab back the paper from her), there was an eruption of laughter and Astoria pulled the door open. Rose and Scorpius were outside, leaning against the wall in stitches.

"Did you... were you listening?!" Draco's face was contorted with fury. They attempted to wipe the smiles from their faces, to no avail.

"Draco, they read it. They were the ones who found it."

"Dad... what did you mean by the poem?"

"Yes, what _did_ you mean by it? By keeping a mouldy apple? Did you love it?"

"No! I just... I had nothing better to do, Potter was going out with Weasley- I mean, Ginny, Weasley- I mean, Ron, was going out with Brown, Gra- Hermione had been going out with McLaggen, Blaise was going out with Tracey... the only person who wanted to date _me_ was Pansy- and no way in HELL was that going to happen."

"Liar. This dates back to your third year." Astoria pointed at the apple. I did an age test on it."

"What? Oh wait, sorry, this one was third year when – "

" _This_ one?" Astoria questioned.

"Well… yes."

"How many did you write?"

"Oh- er- just the two... don't worry, they weren't to apples... not all of them..."

"So who – or what - were the rest of them to?"

"Nothing, okay?!" As Draco got up and stormed out the room, Astoria called after him.

"I'm just going to throw this apple out." She held it at an arm's length away from her.

"AND DON'T THROW THE APPLE AWAY!" Draco yelled from somewhere in the house. Astoria dumped it on the table.  
"It's on the table _, my Dracey_." She went out and closed the door. There was a silence, before Rose and Scorpius burst into laughter again.

 **AN: I know this is complete crap (as I said, it's my 11 year old writing, there's a reason why you're supposed to be 13 to be on , the majority (note I said majority because I do know 11/12/etc year olds who can write well) of people cannot write for toffee at that age, including me). To all the first years there, the Sorting isn't that bad, and if anyone wants to come and talk to me, I'm towards the back of the Hogwarts Express right now! See y'all when we arrive at Hogwarts!**


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